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  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, events and characters are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  Afire

  The Blinded Series

  Copyright©2010 Sarah Masters

  ISBN 978-1-60054-597-9

  His and His Kisses Edition

  Cover art and design by Emmy Ellis

  All rights reserved. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.

  Published by

  loveyoudivine Alterotica 2011

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  www.loveyoudivine.com

  AFIRE

  THE BLINDED SERIES

  By

  SARAH MASTERS

  COMPLETE DIGITAL EDITION

  CONTENTS

  BLINDED

  Ryan has news for Lee that can’t be told over the phone or by email, and he dreads the outcome…

  GLIMMER

  Lee and Ryan, eighteen-year-old men, admit the love they have shared since childhood is more than just friendship.

  BURNING

  After years spent apart, Ryan and Lee get together again. Is their love still burning?

  INFERNO

  Lee and Ryan make their way back to the town where they grew up, but upon their return to Lee’s cabin, something isn’t right…

  WILDFIRE

  Ryan takes Lee away to recuperate, but once again, someone from their past catches up with them.

  SHIMMER

  While on holiday trying to come to terms with the terrible things that have befallen them, Lee and Ryan learn a valuable lesson.

  BLINDED

  Dedication

  For Sidney Octavian

  BLINDED

  ~

  Chapter One

  Clouds covered a yellow moon’s belly, and stars of the same hue were out in force. Ryan had been walking for a couple of hours since an old woman dropped him before her turnoff. It sucked she wasn’t going all the way to Biddingford, but then again, who did apart from those living there? Well, he supposed relatives of the villagers visited, but no one in their right mind would choose to go to such an out-of-the-way place, surely?

  And I’m not in my right bloody mind, and neither was Lee when he moved here, so there you go. I must be nuts to have agreed to this.

  With about a mile left to walk, his legs ached something fierce. Upon arrival at the village, he still had to climb a steep hill to reach Lee’s cabin. The pad of one foot throbbed from his socks rubbing against his ruined inner sole. If I stop to take it out, I might not start walking again. Ryan shoved his hands into his pockets, cursing himself for not thinking to wear gloves in this weather. His beanie hat kept his head warm, though. Good job, really; he reckoned his shaved head would have frozen if he hadn’t worn one.

  The village lights shone far into the distance, and he pushed on, each step making those creamy twinkles grow bigger. He had to be crazy doing this. None of Lee’s other friends had offered to take the wad of cash to him, and Ryan felt obliged. Scrub that—he’d wanted to. Lee’s old dear had died yesterday, and although Lee stopped contact with her years ago, it was only right the woman’s money was delivered to her son as she’d requested. Whether Lee would want it was another matter. The old dear had left instructions with her neighbour to take the money before the authorities arrived.

  Ryan rounded his shoulders, resettling his backpack, the straps digging in so badly he wondered if they’d broken the skin from chafing. His thoughts strayed to the reception he might receive. If he knew Lee, the guy would tell him to fuck right off with the money and not come back. Still, he had to try, and if he was honest, it would be good to see his old friend again. How long had it been now? Four years? Christ, four years living on the top of a hill with no one for company.

  Unless he’s found someone to share his life with.

  That thought sobered Ryan, and he frowned. His offer to take the money had been with an ulterior motive: to see Lee again, see if something could come of it—them. He gave a light chuckle, remembering their fumbled exploration of one another when they were, what, eighteen? They’d hung around with each another for years as kids, and the one time they cut loose and gave in to their feelings, Lee’s mother had caught them. Hence the rift. Shit, she hadn’t been pleased, standing there in the doorway, hands on hips and her mouth wide open. Her flushed cheeks screamed of her embarrassment and anger, and she’d started ranting, finger pointing and accusations flying. She’d wanted grandchildren, hadn’t she, and her only son being ‘like that’ hadn’t sat well at all. And Ryan, the little bastard, was to blame, getting her son all confused. Ryan had made a hasty exit after scrabbling into his clothes, meeting Lee later that night under the streetlight at the end of Ryan’s road.

  “I’ve left,” Lee said, hands in pockets, his head down. “Gonna go and live in the middle of nowhere so no one can bother me. I can’t stay here. Not with her telling everyone what a disappointment I am. And she will, despite being appalled. She’ll do anything for a bit of attention. Always has.”

  Ryan’s stomach had plummeted, and he grasped Lee’s arm. “Come and stay at my place. I don’t give a fuck what people say. We can, you know, be together…if you want.”

  Lee lifted his blond-haired head, those deep brown eyes of his filled to the brim, and sighed. “If I tell you something, will you promise not to laugh?”

  Ryan nodded, hoping his friend would tell him…tell him he thought a lot of him. Felt the same as he did. “Yup. Tell me whatever you like.”

  “I feel like…uh, like I’ve got to find myself, know what I mean?”

  He did know. Shit, Ryan had done all his soul-searching a couple of years back, telling himself he shouldn’t feel the way he did about his best pal, but Lee? He’d only just admitted to himself and Ryan how he felt, how he was, and still had a long way to go in coming to terms with it. And what with his old dear’s reaction, the poor bastard must have been as confused as hell.

  Ryan nodded. “I know what you mean. You go. Do it, but you’ll stay in contact, yeah? Let me know where you wind up?”

  Stooping, Lee picked up his large holdall, one they’d used when camping the previous summer. “I will. And hey, maybe you’ll come and see me one day.”

  “I will. When you’re ready.”

  And here Ryan was, four years later, going to visit Lee without knowing if he was ready. Or whether he has someone else. He shook off the persistent thought, one that had bugged him since Lee left, and winced as his calves protested at the slight incline of the road. He moved off the asphalt and onto the grass verge, thankful the softer ground proved easier on his feet. He stared ahead at brighter, larger lights and picked up his pace. Wouldn’t be long now and he’d be with his buddy again. Shit, they had so much to catch up on. Okay, they spoke over the phone and instant messenger, but it wasn’t the same, was it? Not like sitting side by side, a beer in hand, with facial expressions and body language to drink in. Christ, he’d missed Lee’s body language. The way he used his hands to explain things, all waves and arm jerks, fascinated Ryan, and his eyebrows—how he got only one to shoot up, Ryan didn’t know.

  Excited now, he pushed himself to walk faster. The first house on the outskirts stood up ahead, and he almost ran to it, pleased the lights blazed, indicating someone was still up and awake. He needed directions to the hill—Lee’s explanation on how to get there had confused the hell out of him years ago when he’d told Ryan al
l about Biddingford.

  Nervous, he approached the small cottage, walking up the garden path. He’d heard village folk didn’t take kindly to strangers, and Lee had said it had taken them a while to get used to him. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door, silently berating himself for allowing something so simple to affect him. The light flicked on behind the two glass panels, and a black figure moved toward the door. A chain rattled, and the door swung wide, revealing a stooped old lady wrapped in a pink fleece dressing gown. She squinted up at him, one rheumy eye releasing a tear, the wrinkles around her lips telling Ryan she’d either smoked for most of her life or perpetually went around with pursed lips.

  “What d’you want?” she said, voice terse, the curlers in her hair bobbing. “Ain’t seen you before.”

  “Um, sorry to bother you, but could you give me directions to the cabin on the hill?”

  “Ah!” She raised a gnarled hand, finger pointing toward him. “One of them, are you? Tsk.” She stepped back and began closing the door.

  “Please, wait. If you could just tell me—”

  “Piss off!”

  The door closed, the chain tinkled back into place, and the light went off. Huffing out a breath, Ryan blinked, trying to take in what had just happened. Shit, he knew people like her existed, but to encounter one so damn rude—besides Lee’s mother—was a first for him. He walked back down the garden path and headed toward the next house on the opposite side of the road a few meters away.

  Let’s hope I get a better reception at this place. Jesus.

  Once there, he knocked on the door, readying himself for more of what he’d just received. This time, after the light went on, the door opened with the chain still in place. A face peeped out of the gap—a black-haired woman of about forty, eyes wide, brows raised.

  “Yes?” She gripped the door, knuckles pronounced.

  “Uh, sorry to trouble you, but I wondered if you’d mind telling me how to get to the cabin on the hill. My, uh, friend lives there.”

  “Lee? That who you want?”

  Ryan smiled. “Yes. Yes please.”

  “Hang on.” She closed the door and walked away, her shape vanishing at the end of the hallway. It appeared again a moment later, and once again she opened the door, chain secure. “Here.” The woman shoved a piece of paper at him.

  He took it, looking down at what she’d written—a series of lefts, rights, and straight aheads. Glancing back up, he said, “Thanks.”

  The door closed, and Ryan walked back to the road and followed the directions. Clusters of houses came into view now, and roads branched off the main one, more homes evident by the yellow glows shining through the windows. At the end of the road, he took a left and walked a twig-strewn path that led upward. Trees bordered it, their leafy canopies joining high above his head to obscure the moon. A night critter scuttled in the undergrowth, shitting the life out of him, and he strode faster, unused to the countryside and what lived in it. Feeling claustrophobic in the tunnel-like foliage, Ryan let out a sigh of relief at seeing the trees thinned out, giving way to the hill and the open pathway that led to the top.

  He stared up. Only one light shone in the cabin—possibly a living room or kitchen—and he imagined Lee inside, watching TV or reading one of those Sci-Fi books he loved so much. The trek almost finished him off, but he reached the top, exultant that he’d managed it only a little out of breath. Speeding up, he approached the cabin, feeling foolish that his knees had decided to mess him about and go rubbery.

  It’s only Lee. It’ll be just like old times, like I’ve never been away.

  But what if it wasn’t? What if their easy camaraderie on the phone drained away once they came face to face? What if Lee was busy and Ryan couldn’t stay there? Shit, he should have asked to come. Springing it on Lee wasn’t the best plan he’d had. Indecision warred inside him, and he pulled out his phone.

  I’ll ring him. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Ring him and see if he fancies a visit.

  He pressed the speed dial button for Lee’s number and listened to the ringing in his ear and the dull peal filtering through the cabin window.

  “Hello, mate,” Lee said, sounding chipper and pleased to hear from him. “How’re you doing?”

  “All right. You?”

  “Fine, fine. Watching a bit of TV. You?”

  “Um, just been for a long walk.”

  “What? Tell me you’re taking the piss.”

  “Nope. Hill walking.”

  “You? Fucking hill walking?”

  “Yeah. Listen, I was wondering, d’you feel ready for a visit yet?”

  “What, from you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Fuck yeah. When were you thinking of coming?”

  “Now.”

  “Now?”

  “Yeah. Open your front door.”

  “What?”

  “Just do it.”

  The shuffle of Lee moving came down the line, and a light flicked on, glowing through the glass in the front door. Lee’s figure stood behind a netted curtain, the same broad shoulders—broader, even—than Ryan remembered. Ryan jogged toward the cabin, stopping a few meters away as the front door opened, showcasing the man he’d missed and thought about for such a long time. The white T-shirt, tight on his biceps, showcased muscles he’d grown since coming here. Blue jeans moulded to the tops of his legs, and bare feet poked out from under the hems.

  Lee squinted, phone pressed to his ear, and Ryan grinned.

  Lowering the phone, Lee said, “That you?”

  Ryan laughed and stepped closer, cutting the call and slipping his phone in a pocket. “Yep.”

  “Fuck me! How…? What…?”

  “A beer would be nice.” Ryan walked up to the door. “But a hug’ll do.”

  Lee’s smile tamed Ryan’s nerves but sped up his heart, had his stomach rolling over. Lee’s arms enveloped him, and the pat on his back cemented their friendship once more. It’s going to be all right. Shit, everything’s okay.

  Ryan pulled back, the urge to kiss Lee’s lips like a tangible thing, as though it had hands that pushed their heads together. A brief brush and then Lee stepped away, ushering him inside.

  “What a fucking shock! But shit, it’s good to see you,” Lee said, closing the door and walking down a short hallway with stairs to the left.

  Ryan followed and entered a kitchen, the wooden worktops looking like they hadn’t been changed for years. Happiness bubbled up inside him. To finally be here with Lee after all this time! Christ, it was like they’d never been apart.

  “Want a beer, mate?” Lee asked, putting the phone on the side and opening the fridge. He nodded at Ryan’s bag. “Dump that on the floor. I’ll sort out the spare room later. I don’t have many guests. Sheets need changing.” He handed Ryan a can of lager, grin filling his face. “Can’t believe you just did that to me! Nice surprise, though. Shit. Come here!”

  Ryan stepped into Lee’s arms, the coldness from the fridge seeping through his coat, and he felt absurd for having tears in his eyes. He blinked them away and rested his cheek on Lee’s chest, where he needed to be, wanted to be since the day his first love had left town. Lee’s scent, a woodsy aftershave and the unique smell that belonged only to his friend, wafted up. Ryan took it in, unable to quite believe he was here. He smoothed his hands up and down Lee’s back, the breadth wider, the muscles more defined than before, and wondered if his thighs and calves had grown too. Their close proximity and the sheer excitement of being here got to Ryan, and he wanted to laugh it out—really laugh until his ribs hurt.

  He raised his head and looked at Lee. “Shit, I’ve missed you.”

  Lee’s eyebrow rose, and he smiled, a lopsided grin that had Ryan’s stomach flipping.

  “Didn’t realise how much until I saw you, but I’ve missed you too.” Lee gripped the tops of Ryan’s arms and squeezed. “Come on into the living room.” He let Ryan go, handed him a beer, and closed the fridge, leading the way back down the h
all and opening a door on the left. “Got a lot to catch up on.”

  Ryan stepped into the room, taking in Lee flopping onto a black leather recliner in his peripheral vision—and a man sprawled out on the sofa straight ahead.

  BLINDED

  ~

  Chapter Two

  The bottom fell out of Ryan’s world. Hadn’t he known this would happen? Hadn’t he told himself Lee would have found someone by now? God, he wished he hadn’t come. Wished Lee had told him before now he’d got himself settled. And why hadn’t he? Did he think Ryan wouldn’t be able to handle it?

  “Take a pew,” Lee said, clearly oblivious to the turmoil raging inside Ryan. “Budge up, Josh.”

  Ryan, feeling awkward and young again, stepped toward the sofa. Josh swung his feet off and sat at the end nearest Lee. He nodded and watched Ryan sit at the other end. Anxiety spiralled inside him, and he had the urge to run, get the hell out of there and not look back. After all, he still had his coat and hat on, and he was buggered if he was going to take them off. He’d feel exposed—more so than he did already. He affected nonchalance and stared at Lee, who picked up a can of beer from a small table beside his chair and sipped.

  “Shit,” Lee said. “Should be introducing you, shouldn’t I? Ryan, this is Josh. Josh, this is Ryan.”

  “All right?” Josh said, his bright smile and twinkling eyes a punch to Ryan’s gut.

  Ryan nodded and opened his beer, taking a mouthful. It tasted sour—or was that the bile at the back of his throat? His stomach clenched, and he gazed around the room for something to do. Tongue-and-groove covered the walls, glazed with a pine-coloured varnish. A large canvas, a reproduction of something by Monet if Ryan guessed right, hung over the TV in the corner beside the window. Wooden floors matched the walls, and a black shaggy rug covered the floor in front of the sofa and chair. Ryan wondered if they’d chosen the décor together, and a stab of jealousy took his breath away.